Childhood Places

Muddy water and children's laughter;
a true creek never runs deeper
than the bare feet that wade from bank to bank.
Caney Creek was my home.
It was wild, wild in the way
only a place with no adults can be.

I have heard it said we lose something
as we abandon our childhood fancy
for, what seems, a natural progression into adult responsibilities.
No one can every put a finger on what it is that was lost.
If I know anything, I know we lose those places
that were our childhood.
Because they are as much a part of us
as we are of them.
They come to us in dreams
and the echoes of our laughter
still resonate in their living rock.

Places like the creek I mentioned
or patches of woods where we could scream, cry and laugh
without embarrassment or explanation.

We have so few of those places as we get older,
places where we can be ourselves naturally and without explanation.
Too many things have to have a reason, a motive.

Seldom can we find a moment to just be and be left alone.

We take things like yoga; where we can breath and stand funny.
But, because it has a name and a following it is acceptable.
We find places like bars; where we have excuses and God forbid,
reasons.
I'm so tired of having a reason.
A reason to laugh, a reason to smile.
A reason to cry or dance or scream.

We have lost our childhood places.

I remember where all of mine are, though I seldom visit.
Whether it is out of fear, fear that I won't feel the same.
Fear that I have forgotten how to get to that place inside myself.
I am everything and everyone that I have ever been.
It is all still wrapped up somewhere inside of me,
tucked neatly behind a pile of responsibilities and conditioned responses.

Perhaps going back to those places will shake it loose
and I will drink muddy water without wondering if I'll get sick,
I'll strip off all of my clothes and not question if I'm doing something wrong.
It is a far greater wrong to stifle your spirit
than to confound on onlooker.
And much better we confound others with our actions
than to not act and ourselves be confounded.