Hum of Eternity

“The heart’s serenity is like gold.”

I saw these words etched above a urinal

in a dirty little bar I called home.

What caused my eyes to trace this poorly etched phrase,

What was different about this moment that had drawn my attention?

Whatever the purpose, it grew.

A disconcerting feeling,

overwhelming weight pressed on my chest.

Two ton bricks I had carried countless years

suddenly became insufferable.

 

This city, too much.

These people, too much.

The dirt, the grime,

this gritty texture of veiled life.

One sentence brought it all in to perspective.

Tearing at my clothes and abandoning my shoes,

I raced out

heading for somewhere,

someplace where life made sense.

Those words kept repeating in halls of my psyche;

“The heart’s serenity is like gold.”

 

A sensation began to resonate throughout my being,

long after the city had left me behind.

Bare feet stepped one in front of the other.

Rocks, like jagged teeth

Gnawed at my tender flesh.

 

Must go on,

I must not stop.

Pain became virtually unbearable

until it transmuted into a new understanding.

This path,

wretched, soul rending path

was singing to me, the melody penetrating my groans

and growing despair.

Pain is part of life,

part of this journey.

It exists as a detail, not the conclusion.

I began to forget my pain,

leaving a trail of silent blood

as a testimony of understanding to those who would come after.

I began to quicken the pace until I ran.

I ran to get away,

to forget and to remember.

Mind so convoluted with deadlines and obligations.

Daily attributes that had chained my life to a finite course.

I ran,

and little by little these shackles began to fall away.

In front of me the end was approaching,

behind was nothing but blood and baggage.

I reached the end of the path,

this path worn smooth by seekers whom had come before me.

I could see their names carved into

the being of the atmosphere.

I had reached the end,

And now what to do?

 

I sat,

sat and closed my eyes,

closed my eyes to see without obstruction

and there it was.

It started as a low murmur,

barely audible and yet still prominent in the background.

It grew louder and I could see its waves undulating in the darkness.

The hum of eternity was surrounding me.

The universe’s silent sigh vibrating throughout all Existence.

I felt my place in the heartbeat of the world.

In leaving everything I had found so much more.

Peace and understanding,

The like of which I had never known.

 

It is the beauty of a silent soul.

It is the view of the first sunrise.

It is everything.

It is God

and it is us as we are God.